A blog about my life, knitting, and other stuff.

February 18, 2016

Thursday Is For What the Hell Is This?

It's been a long time, friends, since a knitting design made me so stabby. But the more I look at it, the more complaints I have.

  1. Color. I know it's a matter of personal taste and many of you might enjoy this color but I loathe it.
  2. Edging. Did the designer intend for the edges to be floppy and crumpled? I can't stop staring at that chunky, rumpled neckline and just want to shout, "NO!"
  3. Surface. The wobbly, lumpy, bumpy "cables" look like they were just slapped on to the front.
  4. Shape. There is none. It's a flat rectangle that swallows this poor model's entire torso--and then some.
  5. Placement. The giant diamond over the smaller diamond make the model look even thicker and wider across the top half. And the bottom diamond look just plain wrong over the lower abdomen.
  6. Fit. If you're going to make a boxy tunic don't have it hug the hips. Because then it's not a boxy tunic. It's a figure-hugging sweater withe ENORMOUS shoulders. And maybe it's the terrible pose of the model but it also looks like the armholes come down way too far. 
Put it all together and I could not hate this sweater any more. Even the model's expression seems to say, "Just take the fucking picture already so I can take this thing off."

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