I knew I was in trouble when I found a knitting pattern named after The Wrath of Khan. The frontless, bulky knit turtleneck bolero creation is something I had hoped would stay in the realm of science fiction.
![](http://www.rose-kim.com/blogpics/khan.jpg)
Then I perked up when I saw a cardigan called Grape Vine. I love vine patterns. But this is the whole freaking vineyard. On your chest. With puffy sleeves! Oh and the colors. My eyes! My eyes!
![](http://www.rose-kim.com/blogpics/grapevinecard.jpg)
There are lots of cool patterns available on Craftster. This is not one of them. Oh dear God. No. The name, Kawaii legwarmer des [sic], is "the legwarmers are cute" in Japanese. To which I say, "Yetis はかわいくない."*
![](http://www.rose-kim.com/blogpics/legwarmers.jpg)
There was the pig pot holder which could be kind of fun in a kitschy sort of way if the pig didn't look so damned pissed off. Also I love the note, "A novelty gift for the country folks, and pig collectors!!" Yeah, nothing them country folks love more than a novelty gift. Yeehaw!
![](http://www.rose-kim.com/blogpics/pig1.jpg)
And lastly, the inexplicable. It's supposed to be cattails. Why would you want to knit cattails? I think they should call it "Weenie Roast."
![](http://www.rose-kim.com/blogpics/weinie.jpg)
Yes, it's all very confusing. What the hell is all of this?
*Yetis are not cute.