A blog about my life, knitting, and other stuff.

September 22, 2011

Thursdays are for What the Hell is This?

This pattern is making me feel a little ranty.



Let's see. It's a) ugly, b) unflattering, c) it hangs all wonky on the model, d) is straining under its own weight.

To knit this beauty you take NINE strands of various Li0n Brand yarns and size 50 (FIFTY!) needles and whip this sucker up in a matter of minutes. I wondered, "What's the gauge on this?" and found the pattern reads, "Exact gauge is not essential to this project." What? Then why is there a schematic with measurements on it? In multiple sizes. Oh and it goes up to a 50 inch chest (not that you'll actually get a dress that size because "gauge is not essential.") Can you imagine this enormous hunk of acrylic in a size 2X which is 66" at its widest point? That, by the way, requires 27 skeins of yarn to knit. A FOUR POUND, NINE OUNCE DRESS! Not to mention the seams. They must be so thick with big gaping holes between the stitches. And...I better just let it go.

Here, I'll say something nice about it. I like the model's hair and makeup.

13 comments:

hennasplace said...

I can understand this being a sweater coat, but to walk around all day in this heavy looking dress is not my idea of a good time. It's horrid!

byneedleandthread said...

hehe. better not get caught out in the rain! (although, it may be all acrylic?..ahem)

laruse said...

One of the hands down ugliest things you have ever posted.

Disgusting excuse for LB to try and sell 27 balls of icky yarn.

faerieflings said...

It's about as flattering as cutting a neck and arm openings into a trash bag (and if it's all acrylic, equally as comfortable). And size 50 needles? That's like knitting with broom sticks.

Barbara said...

Ya know, I've looked at that pattern on the Lion Brand site and wondered if anyone ever tried to make it. I like the color.

KimW said...

So much acrylic -- don't get too close to the candles!

Jen said...

I kind of like it.

Teresa said...

Can you imagine what would happen if this got soaking wet? If its four pounds dry, then it might be ten pounds wet. Ick.

Gina said...

The model's hair is a lovely colour!

pdxknitterati/MicheleLB said...

It looks like a worsted weight knit...on a Barbie doll. Which is the only way it could ever work.

kellijean said...

It is really bad when ever on a model it looks that bad.

Shelly said...

That's Lyin' Brand. Pushing the bounds of acrylic where no acrylic should ever go.

I dunno. Genghis Khan might have found it useful. On second thought, no. It won't felt into armor.

Sue T. said...

The model looks terrified!